Unpretty

A Self Image Epidemic.

Hello Lovelies. I'm Jordan Nicole :) I was fortunate enough to be born in the year 1992 and yet I have grown up in a world that makes me feel ashamed to sit here and tell you that I wear a size 10 in jeans. I am actually embarrassed to admit this fact. I feel shame about my weight and the way my body looks. I think less of myself than people who are more similar to societies ideals. How can any self respecting woman sit here and admit that she is so uncomfortable with her body? I have simply been compared to "perfection" my entire life and, like it would any human being, it has affected my view of myself.

In a world where we hear the word epidemic in relation to disease nearly every day, I think that we are letting even bigger issues go undiscussed. In many ways there is an epidemic occurring as I type this that isn't spread through the air or by touch, but by words and hate. The disease that I am referring to doesn't involve bacteria or antibiotics... It lives within a subculture of our society and breeds like wildfire when it is given the right environment and sustenance. The media supplies the life source and society supplies the means for circulation.

Negative Body Image.  

It is a disease. It is a thing that is impacted by society every day. We are born into a world that has an idea of exactly what our bodies should grow to look like. There are no factors which excuse not looking this way.  It doesn't matter what your genetics have to say about the matter. You should be doing everything in your power to live up to what is beautiful.

This mindset has led to an enormous issue on our hands. We have taught generations of women that they are basically ugly, and therefore worthless. We have set a precedent of determining worth in terms of beauty and I for one am tired of it. The real factor which propelled this issue into a full blown epidemic was the introduction of the internet into our environment.

The anonymity which is supplied by the internet has fueled so much hate of other people that society can no longer see that shaming someone else based on physical traits is actually cruel. We are so desensitized to acts of hatred that we don't see them as the problem that they are.

With all of the steps we have taken toward women being equal, it seems that we should be able to sit in a bath suit by the pool without feeling out of place. I realize that some of my insecurities stem from my own self esteem problems, which I have spent years improving, but at the same time there is an endless line of women standing beside me who feel the same way. It is 2015 and this can not be blamed on "hysteria" anymore.

The media have spread a disease which they offer no antidote for.

I think that the women on the big screen, on the small screen, and on the pages of magazines are beautiful. They are often stunning. What they aren't is perfect. Perfection is a dream that has no place in reality. They are beautiful but they are not what I need to look like. I should not aspire to be them someday. Firstly, I am genetically different than the majority of those women. Secondly, I should not aspire to be anyone but myself anyways!

The media could certainly help to cure the disease which it has spread through society, but we are not dependent on them. Love is always the solution to hate. Self love is the ultimate cure for self hate.

I love who I am. In my opinion, I am a wonderful person.

giving, caring, loving, smart, determined, responsible, nurturing, opinionated, educated, ditzy, flawed, learning, changing, forgiving,  growing, optimistic, realistic, analytical, empathetic. 

These are all words that I would sit here and use to describe myself. Note the lack of physical traits. These are the only things that should matter. I am the only person who I need to live up to. I am the only person who needs to love me.

I was part of the problem. I am becoming part of the solution.

Join me.

All By Myself

Feeling Lonely 

I found this gem that I wrote a couple of months back. I now have a roommate but the feelings I was expressing when I wrote this are still relevant to my life. I thought I should share it because maybe they will be relevant to yours as well...

Hello Lovelies. I'm Jordan Nicole :) I haven't done a post where I just talk about what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling in a while. I started doing this blog as a space where I could talk about things that I want to and express myself so I figure it is the perfect place for me to talk about this thing that has been happening lately.

You see, I live alone. I love my life, and my apartment. I love who I am even. Living alone has definitely tested me though. Being alone can make you feel alone. I get home alone and eat dinner alone and go to sleep alone and wake up alone... Over and over again. I logically know that I am not alone just because I am by myself. I know that if I picked up the phone and called Amanda or got in my car and drove to Ellie's, that they would be there for me in a heartbeat. I have so many people in my life who would drop everything to be with me if I needed them. I am so blessed in that way.

It's just that when you've had a bad day and you get home to an empty apartment it can make you feel sad. Even when everything is going your way, being alone can just give the effect of sadness.

I think sometimes we feel like we can't admit that we feel lonely. Like admitting that we feel lonely and vulnerable means that we are weak. It doesn't. Emotions are meant to be felt and everyone has felt lonely at one point in their life.

The important thing to remember is that if you feel lonely, let yourself feel lonely. Then remember that you are not alone in this world and that even when you are physically alone you still have yourself. You can always count on yourself to be there so make sure you love your constant companion and that you try to remember that you are enough.

Single For The Summer

Why A Summer Romance Is Overrated. 

Hello Lovlies. I'm Jordan Nicole :) I don't know about you but I have been exposed to the idea of a summer romance since before I was old enough to even understand what romance was. The summer fling can be seen everywhere from movies to television to books. It feels like every summer when I look for a fun, silly YA book to put me in the summer mood I browse through nothing but an endless string of books about summer romances.

So where did the romanticized view of summer flings originate? Was it brought on by a generation of young girls watching Grease and wishing that they could go spend the summer on a beach finding their Danny Zuko? Is it the idea of the endless days and nights, uninterrupted by school and responsibilities, that you can spend with this person? Maybe it is the fantasy of going to a place where no one knows you and completely reinventing yourself, while also finding love along the way?

Whatever the reason behind the fascination is, it is definitely an established dream that society puts into young girl's heads. I know that I spent every summer reading books about girls who got to spend their summer at some distant relatives beach house and who, because of this location, found the love of their life... or at least of that summer. I would read these books and wish that some day I could be that girl. Unfortunately for teenage me, I lived hours away from the nearest beach and my parents weren't all that eager to ship me off somewhere for the summer. At the time the idea was so appealing. Actually, the idea seemed pretty appealing all the way through my first few years of college. Those were the years when I was still so desperate to find love. Being alone seemed like the worst fate, and spending the summers alone was simply tragic.

Looking back on those years with the perspective I have gained in my 22 years, I have NO IDEA what I was thinking. I can only blame my fantasizing on the way summer romances were portrayed in the media around me. The truth of the matter is that there is no direct correlation between having a fun, life changing summer and being in a relationship. In fact I have spent all but one of my summers completely single, and I would almost argue that those were some of my most valuable growing experiences.

The summer is a time when you are unregulated by school and schedules. The days feel endless and the nights are filled with adventure. I have spent the majority of my summers running freely. I have had nothing to hold me back. No restrictions, besides the ones set by my parents of course. The feeling of sunshine and freedom is one that can not be replaced. There is something about the heat and the rays of sun hitting your skin that make everything seem magical. I have made some of my best memories in the summertime, and I made those memories completely alone. Well, single at least. I was typically far from alone, as I take this time as an opportunity to surround myself with friends.

I know that being in a relationship during the summer does not ruin it by any means, but it also gives you something that ultimately ties you down. You can't run freely with your friends and flirt endlessly with the boys across the pool. You can't take a family trip to the beach without wishing your SO were with you. Spending the summer being single frees not only your schedule, but your mind. You won't be worrying about what trouble that SO of yours is getting into at camp or off on that road trip with their friends.

I wasted so many of my summers dreaming of being on a beach somewhere and having a guy to fill my time with. While I am still spending this summer wishing I was on a beach, I have outgrown the desire to fill my time with a boy.

I don't need a boy to make my summer amazing. I really don't need a boy to make any part of my life amazing. So if you have been spending summer after summer wishing that there was someone to call your summer fling while the summer passed you by, then I say let's all leave our dream world's this summer and embrace all of the adventurous and freeing things we can do in a summer, even without that summer love.

Besides, if you did have a summer love then you would have to spend your whole summer dreading the day that you had to leave them and go back to the real world. Being single means that you can enjoy all of the magic of summer without fearing its end! 

Fight Song

Take Back Your Life 

Hello Lovelies. I'm Jordan Nicole :) Over the past few months I have been so intrigued with the idea of things we do and do not have control over in our lives.

We each have things in our lives that are out of our control. I can sit here and name so many things that I have no power to change. Some of these things cause me to feel anxious. Knowing that I have no control over those situations is daunting. How can I be happy when there are so many things that make me unhappy which I just have no influence over? Getting past the things that make me feel sad without changing them can seem impossible.

The thing that I have been so fascinated with as of late is the idea that, while situations can be beyond our ability to control, happiness is never out of reach. Even if it feels like you are drowning in your life and it takes all of your energy just to stay afloat, you are still the only thing that stands between yourself and happiness.

Have you ever met someone who, despite their situation, was just the happiest person you had ever had come into your life? We have all had this experience. The child who has lost a parent, the parent who has lost a child, the mother of two who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, the veteran who lost their leg to war. The list is endless, but they all have one thing in common. They have realized that being happy is something you can choose... And they have chosen it.

You see, as much as we would like to blame all of the things in our life that we have no control over for our unhappiness, this is simply not true. HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. No one and nothing can take happiness away from you. Happiness and joy are something that is held in your heart and you can choose to wake up and be happy or wake up and not be happy.

You may be sitting there yelling that I don't understand at your computer screen, but I promise that I do. I have been the person who let the world bring me down. I have sat alone in my room feeling like there was just nothing to be happy about anymore. The thing I didn't realize back then is that I had the potential to be happy, even when things looked so grim. You hold the key.

When it seems like there is nothing to be happy about, it is because you are overlooking all of the blessings in your life. We are surrounded by magical things that should make each of us overwhelmed with happiness every day. The littlest of things add up to the biggest blessings in your life.

Can you see? Can you hear? Can you speak? Can you walk? Are you healthy? Does your body function the way it was meant to? These things may seem like obvious traits that you were just born with, but not everyone was. These things are blessings. We are so used to having the ability to do simple things that we don't think of them as being extraordinary, but they are. When you know someone who doesn't have these abilities then you start to understand just how much they affect your daily life.

Blessings do not have to be major events that have a big flashing "This is a blessing" sign hanging above them. Miracles happen every day. There are so many reasons to be happy. Find them!

I am not trying to sit here and tell you how to live your life, but if you have been struggling to find reasons to be happy then maybe you should take a step back from your daily struggles and write down one thing that you are grateful for each night. Just one thing. I promise you that you will find something new each day, and over time that list will start to grow. Watch it grow and realize that you are truly blessed. As time goes on, take back your ability to be happy. In turn, take back your life.

There are so many things that we have no control over in this world but happiness is not one of them.

Happiness is a choice.

What did you choose today?