Please Remember Me

I Wrote This For You  

Hello Lovelies. I'm Jordan Nicole :) This week I was feeling a bit blue so I did something to treat myself a little. We all need to treat ourselves to something every now and then. My spurge was to buy a book that has been one of my favorites for a long time. I first purchased it on my kindle one late night and then proceeded to read the entire thing that night. I can honestly say that reading it changed me. Every once in a while you find a book that just speaks to your soul in a way that nothing ever has before. This book was that for me. I have always wanted to own it in its physical form, but had never managed to purchase it for myself. 

I Wrote This For You isn't really a book. It is more like a collection of poems. The most eloquent and magnificent poems you will ever read. It isn't poetry in the classic sense of the term. You aren't going to read it and compare it to Walt Whitman, but it is something that has touched my soul. Along with each poem there is also a photograph. All of the photography was done by Jon Ellis, and it is the perfect touch to complete the book. The author chooses to go by the pin name, pleasefindthis. If you read I Wrote This For You, you will see that this pin name is very moving. 

I know that this isn't my typical post but I figured that if I have found this thing that is so amazing, then shouldn't I share it? I have personally read through this book six or seven times. I think that says something. It also happens to be poetry month, so this is a way to celebrate it :) 

In order to share a taste of how amazing it is, I thought I would include a handful of my favorite pages.

The Bibliography Of Strings
And you taught me what it feels like. And the how it feels to lose it. And you showed me who I wanted. And then who I wasn't. And you ticked every box. And then drew a line. And you weren't mine to begin with. And then not to end with. And you looked like everything I wanted. And then became something I hated. And you get thought of everyday. And then not in a good way. And you let me leave. And then you wish I'd stayed. And you almost killed me. But I didn't die.

The Point Of Contact
And then my soul saw you and it kind of went "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."

The Ghost Train
And if you can't say yes, answer anyways. Because I'd rather live with the answer than die with the question.

The Fragile Arc
It may have just been a moment to you, but it changed every single one that followed for me.

The Needle And Ink
Look at you, like a new tattoo. Because I might not always have you but I'll have the feeling of you for the rest of my life.

The Forgotten Feeling 
I know there was something before you. I just can't remember what it was.

The End Of That 
If you thought that was our second chance, you're wrong. It was our last.

The Bridge From Solitude
Just like you mistook lust for love, you have mistaken being alone with loneliness. So I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

The Tales From Bar
You're just another story I can't tell anymore.

The Next Stop
Only because it's still so raw and real. Soon I'll just be a series of images that sometimes flash through your mind, when you least expect. And after that, only a few will stay. Then, one. A memory of a memory.

The City Rises And Falls 
You were a dream. Then a reality. Now a memory.

The Seconds Before Launch
This isn't me missing you. This is me missing the me I used to be. This isn't me.

The Fragments Belong Together
Things just break sometimes. Maybe we should blame that third personality we became, that personality we shared together. Maybe it's their fault because you're a good person and I think I'm a good person too. We just weren't made for this.

The Refracted Night 
You forget that, in the dark, we must move closer together in order to see each other. You were never alone.

The Rain Was Once A Cloud
Know someone as much as you can. Hold onto the moments that define them. Then when their body leaves, they won't.

Those are just some amazing segments from an even more amazing book. If you are a fan of observations about the world around you then I would say this is a must read for you. 

I Wrote This For You is available in both digital and physical forms. You can purchase it on amazon.com or from Barnes & Noble. 

Oh, Tonight

Setting Aside Your Pride 

Pride

(n.) a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements.

Hello Lovelies. I'm Jordan Nicole :) I have learned the hard way, more than once, that pride can take something that is great and completely destroy it. Not only have I experienced this first hand, but I have watched people that I love, tear apart relationships because of their pesky pride. While I can admit that pride can be helpful in the sense of achieving your goals, I think that it ultimately hurts us more than it helps. How many times have you liked someone but refused to tell them because you wanted them to tell you first? What about disagreeing with the way someone is treating you, but not telling them because you think they should just know you are upset? These are examples of your pride getting in the way of what you want. 

This can sound a little bit crazy if you think about it. I mean, why would your own pride make you end up without things that you want? Shouldn't your brain be helping you get everything you've ever wanted, not be sabotaging you? Well, that just isn't the case. We self sabotage all of the time. At least I know I do, and I see if happening around me quite frequently. 

You see pride is the voice in the back of your head that makes you hold back your feelings in order to protect you from rejection or being wrong. You want to be right and make choices that lead to that result. What would happen if you tell that person that you like, that you like them so much that you can't think of anything else? Ultimately the worst thing that can happen is that they say they don't feel the same. Not so bad, right? Wrong. Everyone fears rejection. The annoying voice in your head is telling you to after all. It only wants you to do things that have a guaranteed positive outcome. 

I have personally missed out on so many wonderful opportunities out of the fear of being wrong or rejected. My pride gets in the way all the time. I just have this need to satisfy it. I am too proud to say how I am really feeling. 

I don't know about you, but I am tired of it. I am ready to go out into the world and say "This is me. Deal with it." to anyone or any situation that my pride is telling me to hold back from. What do I have to lose? Nothing. What do I have to gain? Everything. 

Lets all make a deal with ourselves to not hold back from what we want. 

Tell that guy that you are friends with that you want more. The worst that can come of it is the word NO. And I think that we should all be a little less afraid of that word. It isn't innately bad. It can lead to the most wonderful things in your life if you are willing to let it. 

So set aside your pride with me, and let's go try and get what we really want in life. You'd be amazed what a little less pride and a little more risk taking will do for your happiness. 

Autumn Leaves

Fall Time

"The Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place and I can picture it after all these days."
-All Too Well, Taylor Swift

Hello Lovlie. I'm Jordan Nicole :) We are now in the month of September and that means that we have officially entered my favorite season, Autumn. I fluctuate between referring to it as fall and autumn depending on how fancy I want to feel but whatever you call it, I hold it very dear to my heart. Something about when the pumpkins start coming out and the leaves start to change colors (not that I've seen this aside from pictures as Texas hates me and my love for fall) speaks to my soul. It feels like going home.

I am not sure if this is a normal feeling that people have in regard to what season it is (be sure to let me know in the comments if you feel this passionately about any of the four seasons) but in the last few years I have just grown to adore this time of year. I long for it to get here the day after it is gone. It feels like a time of new beginnings to me, as if anything I can dream, can be. I have scents, flavors, songs and places that create fall all around me and when I surround myself with these things I feel an instant comfort. I'm in my element and so happy about all the things to come.

Pumpkin Spice Lattes 
Pumpkin Candles 
Pumpkin Pie
Pumpkin Everything!
Warm Blankets 
Sweaters
Boots
Scarves
Fall Colors
Football Games
Apple Cider
Hot Chocolate 
Halloween 
Candy Corn
Thanksgiving 
Family Gatherings 

I didn't really have anything specific in mind for this post, I have just been so overjoyed by the arrival of fall and I needed somewhere to rant about it :) Are you as excited about the season change? What is your favorite season? What about your favorite parts of fall? Let me know in the comments! Regardless of your feelings towards fall I hope that you make the most of it :)

A Change Would Do You Good

Ten Tips For A Fresh Start 




All of us go through a point in time where all we really need is to start over. It varies from moving to a city where no one knows your name to getting a haircut. No matter where you are on the spectrum we have all been there. You are not alone! Sometimes the hardest thing about starting over is actually starting. Where do you begin? How soon will you feel different? Here are some tips on where to start and things that can lead you to the new beginning you are looking for.

1. Hair cut/color: The first things I always want to do when I need a change is to go to my nearest hair salon and cut my hair. This has always been a pattern in my life. You can track many of the major changes I've gone through by seeing when I changed my hair. Sometimes its because I just broke up with someone and needed to cleanse myself of the bad energy that was there in the end. Other times I just needed to make a personal change, to be seen and to see myself differently. The quickest way to do that is with a physical change so its visible. I will admit that there have been times I regretted my decision to cut my hair but whether I got bangs, cut off eight inches, or went blond I achieved what I was aiming to. I changed.

2. New wardrobe: This is another thing you can change physically that will help you feel different on the inside as well. A new wardrobe can be life changing, it gives you control over how others perceive you in a world that you don't have much control over. If changing your style seems like a scary or daunting task, and you are baffled on where to start, then I would recommend choosing a celebrity or a person in your life whose style inspires you. I am not recommending just completely stealing the way someone dresses, after all that isn't reinventing yourself, that’s just being someone else. You have to make it your own look. Just take pieces or elements of a look you admire and go from there.

3. Spring clean: A great way to feel like you have a clean slate is to actually clean the environment around you. Go through all of your clothes and things. Donate the items you haven't used in the last two months, the odds are you aren't going to ever use them if you haven't used them in that time anyways. Actually clean as well. Sweep, mop, dust, and vacuum. Clean the restroom. The kitchen. Make everything around you spotless and organized and you will suddenly have cleared your mind, so you can start fresh. You won't have to worry about all the chores you should be doing while you are out at the park with your dog. Instead, you can be in the moment.

4. Wake up early: Start your day. Don't sleep until two because you can and then feel groggy because you slept too much. Find a routine, a schedule where you go to bed (instead of watching Netflix all night) so that you can get up in the morning. It doesn't have to be at 6 in the morning but 8 or 9 is early enough that you can still buy breakfast at What-A-Burger after you've taken the full amount of time you need to start the day, ya know? It's always a bummer when you wake up and all you want is a honey butter chicken biscuit and you look at the clock and its 1045. Breakfast stops being served at 11 and there is no way you're going to make it. Get up at an hour where if you wanted breakfast out, you could get it! Waking up early, having time for some coffee, a bit of TV or reading and being able to take your time while you get ready will do wonders for your day. Not having to be rushed makes your day start on a positive note and be much more relaxed.

5. Vacation: This doesn't have to be a big to-do or anything; it could be as simple as going to visit a family member over the weekend. Just get yourself out of your everyday environment and routine, shake things up! This will get your mind off of the things you don’t want to take with you on your journey to a new you. Plus you can just relax and feel rejuvenated when you return.

6. Do something good for others: Volunteer your time. There is nothing that can make you feel happier, if you're down, than making someone else feel good. Give a little, or give a lot and you'll be amazed at how good it can make your day. Seeing someone else smile because you were willing to take the time to help him or her is an amazing gift to give.

7. Evaluate who should be in your life: You know that friend everyone has? That toxic one that just pulls and pulls and pulls your positive energy out of you and gives nothing back? We all have them and for an unknown reason most of us are willing to love them more than we love ourselves. These are the people we should be taking out of our life and instead most of us cater to them. You should always be surrounded by as much love and support as you put out there. And you don't want to be putting the negative energy that this friend makes you have into the world. There is already enough coming from them, why should you let them cause you to contribute. You want to put positive energy into the universe so that someone else can be influenced to be happy and so that you don't get the negativity later on down the road when karma comes into play.

8. Change your diet: I am certainly not trying to sell a diet plan or even "lifestyle change" like everyone else out there on the Internet. I am not overly into healthy eating, there are plenty of days when I have something that is bad for me but there are also so many days where I eat something green, or some fruit with my meal and it makes me feel so much lighter. Maybe you could at least try to balance the bad and good moments. My mother always told me while I was growing up "everything in moderation" and I really feel like this is a great motto for everything in your life. Don't over do it. Anything can be bad for your life if you have too much of it. At the same time don't under do it. This could be just as bad for you in the long run. Find a happy medium and this will really help you feel better physically. You’ll also just feel more fulfilled because you are getting the things you crave, but you're also balancing it with the things you need.

9. Get active/out doors: Did you know that if you would just step outside and let the sun hit your face when you first get up that your whole mood for the day will be better? Now this is all due to the chemistry in your brain and the different hormones it can produce, take a basic psychology course and you can learn the same thing. Your brain actually has a light sensor that tells it to produce serotonin, which will make you happier. Your eyes also tell your brain to make less melatonin when the sun hits them, which will make you less tired. The sun is a wonderful thing, as is nature and I feel like we should all be spending more time there. Most of my best days are spent outdoors. Now the active part can be taken as mildly or extremely as you'd like to take it. I think that getting outside and just walking all day is really all you need. Or go to a museum and walk around. The point is to stay off the couch. I mean if you need to go to the store then that can count! You are walking around right? That is more active than sitting at home and watching TV right? There ya go. Now if that doesn't feel like enough for you then maybe you could get some friends together and find a local dance place to take some classes a few times a week/month. That is a fun and social way to get moving. Or if you are more motivated by being alone then start to train for a 5k, remember that tip about helping other people? Sign up for a 5k for an organization you really believe in and start to train for it. This gives you a time limit but not an extreme goal. I'm not telling you to train for a marathon, this could be an eventual goal, but don't think tomorrow you need to run 26.2 miles. That isn't the way it works. There are so many options for being active you can join a gym, maybe find one that offers free classes like yoga or spinning. The group factor could be a great thing to get you started and keep you motivated. If you want to be outdoors while you are active go hiking, swim, go paddle boarding (you'll be using so many more muscles than you think you will), find a tennis court near by and drag some friends out for doubles, even your running can be outside. There are endless options for this step but the combination of moving around and getting that sun on your face will do wonders for your happiness.

10. Just breathe: Things always change in time. Even if you feel like where you are in your life right now isn’t where you want to be, things will always keep moving forward, there is no pause button. Breathe and work calmly toward the fresh start you are craving. Stress and anxiety about wanting things to be different will only add to your disappointment with the way things are. Positivity is key, and just staying calm will help you keep it.

These tips can all be ignored, all followed, or somewhere in-between. I am in no way an expert on starting over or on you. Everyone is different and certainly not everyone needs these tips but coming from personal experience I have found myself in this position more than once in my twenty-one years and a little guidance is always welcome. Even if you aren’t looking for a complete reinvention it is still fun to change things up every once and a while. Life is a constant experience of change. It moves forward and we just try to keep up the best we can. Sometimes we get caught up and left behind and when that happens we are always given the gift of a new day and new opportunities. That’s what’s so wonderful about time, if you let it, it can make everything better.